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How to distract a girl from past relationships

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HOW TO LOSE PAST RELATIONS?

Probably many of you will not like it if I say that the only possible way to let go of your old relationship is to outgrow everything that keeps you in them. The process is often lengthy and requires painstaking work on oneself. Believe me, letting go of stories in an instant is an illusion, at least at the level of development that a person who is stuck in previous relationships is at. A “one-and-all” holiday will probably come later, when you feel that love really does not hurt, that love is a gift that you share from the bottom of your heart, and in principle, nothing special and it’s not necessary from another person, but even in such a situation it’s quite possible to get stuck in a relationship that one of you has chosen to end. You’re stuck because it’s holding something anyway. Not pain, not resentment, not a desire to have a partner, but something inexplicably different.

I believe that in our life there is not a single chance meeting, and first of all this applies to those who once became our family and friends. We are all connected by invisible threads of fate, and it seems that the connections are drawn from the distant past, although who knows how it really is. Everything happens for some reason, it is not always possible to immediately discern why life brought together with one or another person. For myself, I chose the position of "the big one sees from a distance" and agrees that at times I have to learn to live with questions.

Be patient with what your heart wants
And try to love the questions themselves.
Don't look for answers you can't get
Because you could not live with them.
And the point is to survive everything.
Survive the questions
and maybe without knowing it myself
You will live and one day you will receive answers.
(Rainer Maria Rilke)

Instead of asking why it all happened, why it happened to me, why it is so unfair, or something similar from a series of questions that I don’t have answers right now, I prefer to turn to myself, dive in and look for hooks that keep me in that state. You know, people very often begin to deny pain and disappointment, they want to get rid of a sad state as soon as possible, deny what is happening in their life, they do not want to move in depth, because it is scary and unusual. Pain? Nope, I have not heard. The reality of life? Nope, I haven’t. Crisis in a relationship? Nope, did not worry (because where there is a crisis, we have already caught a trace). Any condition needs to LIVE! And do not run away from him. LIVE!

Parting with a loved one most often serves as a catalyst for deep-seated internal processes. It’s painful and hard, not because the person is not around, but because you can’t endure a clash with yourself. Suddenly you find that the most secret fears begin to come out, unhealed wounds are exposed and there is a clash with what I call "inner emptiness". What to do when you find yourself in such a situation? Continue to walk, observe your condition, live the experience that life offers you at a given moment in time, grieve over irretrievably lost relationships (and who knows what's next,)), be afraid, cry, understand yourself, and keep going. Only the trajectory of movement, however, I propose to choose not "from myself," but "to myself." In depth.

It’s also important not to run into a new relationship in the hope of forgetting about the old ones, it’s important not to shift the responsibility for your own well-being to the one who has left your life (they left, but how to live on, you’ll have to figure it out yourself), it’s very important to learn how to live in a state of inner peace, regardless of external circumstances. And please, here’s something else - don’t think of possible scenarios for the development of relations (here I’ll change and in 10 years everything will change, so I will wait until he (s) divorces and heals, etc.). Do not shut yourself off from life, live it! Your happiness does not depend on the specific person nearby, if you have learned to include the sun inside, life will surely bring into your life the one who should be in it. Do everything that depends on you, and entrust the rest to space, do not get stuck for a long time in memories of the past. Give yourself a year or two or how much you need, but then be sure to come back to life!

The process of letting go of a loved one is about growing up. Whether it is parting, divorce, the death of someone close or leaving the house of matured children - all this is letting go and moving to some other standard of living. Sometimes we have to learn to live without those whom we would like to see and feel around. Wise people say that everything in life is always perfect, and you know, I believe them.

Well, decided to let go? Then pause, freeze, sink to the very bottom, collide with the inner void, get scared as much as possible, and then. and then just accept it, accept yourself with all your shadows and fears, raise your head up, see far, far there is a small ray of light? See? And now push off from the bottom and swim towards the light. Time to pop up)

Respect personal responsibility for your contribution.

We live during the day and age in which almost no one bears personal responsibility for their actions and behavior. Relationships are connected with two people, and both of them are somehow responsible in their success or failure. Self-awareness can be quite painful because it makes us recognize our mistakes and weaknesses. However, we must always remember that “to be mistaken is a man,” and no one is perfect. Before you take on the role of the victim and play the guilt, you can answer the following questions.

Be patient with what your heart wants
And try to love the questions themselves.
Don't look for answers you can't get
Because you could not live with them.
And the point is to survive everything.
Survive the questions
and maybe without knowing it myself
You will live and one day you will receive answers.
(Rainer Maria Rilke)

Instead of asking why it all happened, why it happened to me, why it is so unfair, or something similar from a series of questions that I don’t have answers right now, I prefer to turn to myself, dive in and look for hooks that keep me in that state. You know, people very often begin to deny pain and disappointment, they want to get rid of a sad state as soon as possible, deny what is happening in their life, they do not want to move in depth, because it is scary and unusual. Pain? Nope, I have not heard. The reality of life? Nope, I haven’t. Crisis in a relationship? Nope, did not worry (because where there is a crisis, we have already caught a trace). Any condition needs to LIVE! And do not run away from him. LIVE!

Did you marry someone, expecting to change them after you got married? Were you too critical of your spouse while you were still married? Did you marry someone you met while they were still married to their previous spouse? Did you expect your spouse to read your mind because you did not communicate with them? Have you been accusatory or disrespectful in dealing with your spouse? Did you react to your spouse when you were angry, and therefore your decision was violated?

Did you feel compelled to always win arguments with your spouse? Did you listen to your spouse with an open mind or did you draw conclusions? Did you respect the opinions of your spouse? Did you discuss problems and problems or just sweep them under the carpet? Have you forgiven your spouse or kept grievances? Have you been insincere with your spouse? Have you raised problems since you were thought to resolve when you were arguing about something new? Did you assume that your spouse personally attacked you because they did not agree with you?

Parting with a loved one most often serves as a catalyst for deep-seated internal processes. It’s painful and hard, not because the person is not around, but because you can’t endure a clash with yourself. Suddenly you find that the most secret fears begin to come out, unhealed wounds are exposed and there is a clash with what I call "inner emptiness". What to do when you find yourself in such a situation? Continue to walk, observe your condition, live the experience that life offers you at a given moment in time, grieve over irretrievably lost relationships (and who knows what's next,)), be afraid, cry, understand yourself, and keep going. Only the trajectory of motion, however, I propose to choose not "from myself", but "to myself"

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